Divided Families - Grandparents And Contact

When couples separate there are often difficulties over the contact which the children have with the parent with whom they do not live. Sometimes grandparents may also find it difficult to keep in touch with their grandchildren. Sometimes this flows from being seen by one parent to be on the “other side”. However grandparents in this position can take steps to help them see their grandchildren.

If their child, say father, is pursuing contact with his children and he succeeds the grandparents will be able to see the grandchildren when they are with their father. If father is not having any contact, perhaps not asking for contact, grandparents can make their own application.

Initially when any dispute arises the parties’ solicitors will try to settle the case, but a referral to mediation is often very helpful. The mediator will try to help the parties agree among themselves and if agreement is reached the mediator will confirm the agreement in writing, which the parties will then simply operate. Sometimes cases are not suitable for mediation or no agreement is reached, and agreements may break down, Then the disappointed grandparents can apply to the court. They can also apply for legal aid to help them make the application if they are financially eligible.

Grandparents will need the permission of the court to make an application for contact with the grandchildren, but once permission has been given they can pursue the application.

The court will then decide what steps need to be taken, and may ask for CAFCASS (the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) to prepare a report, which will contain recommendations to help the court and the parties and may help the parties reach agreement. Agreement may prove impossible and indeed the court may decide that it does not need a report and instead simply requires everyone to file statements of evidence and list the case for a hearing, when it will decide what contact should take place.

While grandparents can make applications without father’s co-operation, the court will want to avoid dividing the children’s time into parcels split between various relatives. The focus of the contact will be between the children and their parents, and if that works the grandparents will take advantage of some of the time that the children spend with their parent. Only if this is not working will the court be likely to consider separate periods of contact.

The situation is not limited to when the children’s parents separate. Sometimes parents and grandparents fall out and the grandparents may apply for contact with their grandchildren which is opposed by the children’s parents.

The court will have to look at a number of factors, but the paramount concern is always the welfare of the children. Children need a good relationship with members of their extended family, including their grandparents with whom they may well have had a very close relationship prior to the breakdown of their parents’ relationship, unless there is good reason why contact should not occur . Often it is a case of trying to improve the working relationship between the family members, which is where mediation can be very helpful. It is important that when parents separate, the person with care of the children does not see the other parent’s mother and father as being the opposition and supports the children staying in contact with their grandparents. The court should be the last resort for resolving contact disputes, as once their solicitors have left the scene the parties will still need to deal with each other, something which is likely to be easier if they have avoided the court process.

For more information or advice, contact John Brimble

Published 25/01/2008. The author of this article is John Brimble